From Wandmonkeys to WeePukes: Himself is a trooper

A friend recently asked how Himself was coping with all of this lately and at the suggestion of another friend I thought I'd share my response here with you guys so you know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth (yet).

I'm doing okay today - my foods for today seem to be sucking on pickles (don't ask, and its Clausen pickles only) and mashed potatos with lots of salt. My guess is the salt cravings are my body trying to reestablish the electrolyte balance. Apparently the severe food craving/aversion cycle is common in HG. Who knows? I still can't do water - but am finding some success with sweet tea and lots of lemon.

The cravings are day to day - so its hard to plan. I can't even go in the pantry and opening the fridge is sure to make me gag. It is a daily battle trying to find what will work, and the weird thing is that what will work today won't work tomorrow. I also have to think about foods in terms on how its return path will be should that happen - which is pretty often. Crackers are out for that reason. I tried boiled eggs hoping for some protein and let's just say I will NEVER eat them again for the rest of my life. My calcium comes in the form of Tums, cause dairy is bad, bad, bad. Well, cheese is okay sometimes but it makes the side effects of Zofran worse.

As for Himself, honestly, I married a saint. The man has more patience in his little finger than I do in my whole body. He eats out every meal because I can't stand the smell of things cooking or the sight of a lot of foods. He has been known to drive all over town to find my latest craving - because my OB says if she craves it, get it to her quickly because most likely she will eat it and be able to keep it down long enough to get some nutririton from it. He also is good about quickly taking the food away if I start to turn green - which does happen, I will crave something that will not work and when it gets here its not a good thing. He is awesome about sitting with me in the middle of the night (even though he leaves for work at 6 am) when I am in an especially bad cycle of getting sick. He checks my meds bottles daily to make sure I have enough left - getting stuck without the Zofran or Phenergan is an ugly sight to behold. He is freaking wonderful about cleaning bathrooms and sinks and empyting trash cans immediately. He offers a car ride daily - some days I can, but most I can't - just to get me out. We have to go at night because heat and light mess with me - kind of like the hypersensitivity that comes with a migraine, now that I think about it. The TMI part: when the vomiting gets so violent that I lose control of my bladder - and yes, can you tell *just* how much fun HG is? (now dubbed weepukes at our house) - he will get my clothes off me and in the wash and get me in the shower and let me lean on him (the shower often makes me sick unfortunately). I will say that on bad days, I often want to die and I wish I could not be pregnant (there are some serious dark moments with this shit and the guilt after being infertile is a bitch), he is what keeps me going. We have the huge focus on names right now because I desperately need to find a way to connect with this baby - because I am very detached from the baby itself. Okay enough of whining. Thanks for asking about us"

Anyways - I am still around.  I selfishly have no clue what's going on in blog world - that scroll thing - not so good. Thankfully, I have a great friend who has come over to see me a couple of times - frankly I am quite sick of seeing only my parents and my husband since August.  I will have big news (I hope) come Tuesday after my Level II scan with the perinatalogist - so I will either post or get Himself to share the news of who's in there - boy or girl.

Comments

[What's Meant to Be]

B - my eyes are all teary - you are so lucky to have Himself there for you - next time we're in town, D will bring him out for a night of beers and I'll keep you company - so long as you keep weepukes at bay ;-) JK

[teamwinks]

Oh dear...your situation is so difficult. My heart goes out to you.

[cas]

Just stumbled across and had to comment to wish you the best for hanging in there. HG is worse than anyone can ever imagine. Mine wasn't as severe, but severe enough to amke me worry about ever being pregnant again. It seemed no one understood, I felt like everyone thought I was just being a wimp.

Learned the hard way: rice is not an option (it doesn't travel well coming back) and zofran helps you to live through it, but has it's own nasty side effects.

Fingers crossed that it lets up for you soon. 24 weeks was my turning point.

[isabel]

I'm rooting for you: GO, YOU! GO! I hope it gets better, or at least more bearable.

[Lora]

I know you love those weepukes! I'm super excited about Tuesday (it is seriously gonna be the highlight of my week). Shit, I'd be there next to you if I didn't think all the loud bawling I'd do would be slightly distracting for you and Himself. I love you, girl, and keep on keepin' on (I know you love it when I talk Hippy to ya).

*smooch*

[electriclady]

Aww, you are so lucky to have Himself. Hang in there honey, it has to end sometime. Right? Right???? (If you don't get to enjoy this pregnancy soon, I am going to have to have some serious words with the universe!)

and how jealous am I that you are getting your Level II scan TWO WHOLE WEEKS before I do, despite the fact that you're, like, half a week behind me, gestationally? Can't wait to find out what the UH is!

[Krista]

Oh Beth. That is just terrible. Way worse than I imagined. No wonder you have those thoughts. No one could blame you. Thank god himself is so good. After all you have done and are doing to have children with him, it is no wonder. He must just feel so very awful for you. Hang in there, the good news is that pregancy doesn't last forever, and I don't mean that in an infertile kind of way.

[Nickie]

Good god! I am so sorry, you shouldn't feel guilty at all about your thoughts. My neighbor had HG with her twins years ago that she got thru IVF after years of IF. She actually asked her Dr for an abortion in a weak moment. Obviously he didn't believe her and she did make it thru it. She's actually talking about trying an FET with some of her snowbabies, but the twins are now about 8.

[fisher queen]

You poor thing. I really hope this goes away soon. Thank goodness for your husband.

[Feebee]

Oh Beth, that is way worse than I imagined. I was just imagining it was like my own sickness (not bad at all) but way worse. Which I suppose is like a fertile thinking they know what infertility is like because it took them 6 months to conceive. I hope you're feeling better soon so you can enjoy your pregnancy, god knows you've earned it.

[Allison]

Ah, Beth...how ultimately sucky, and to have that combined with a Carolina summer. No wonder you have your dark thoughts. I'll be sending you lots of strong "let this be the end of it" vibes.

Lot's of atta-boys for Himself. Sounds like you have a true prize there!

[Jenny]

You are going through absolute hell! I have not been near as sick as you and have had my "I don't want to do this anymore" moments as well. I wish the zofran was working more of a miracle for you. Himself sounds like an angel, I'm glad you have him. I can't wait to hear how your ultrasound goes.

[beagle]

I am just so sorry that this pregnancy that you worked so very hard for has to be this awful.

Hang in there.

I'm looking forward to the girl/boy news and the name!

[beagle]

PS I'm guessing girl.

A coworker of mine (no fertility issues) had a normal happy pg with #1, a boy, and she had HG with #2 which turned out to be a girl.

So, I'm guessing girl.

[SouthernComfortable]

OMG, Himself is truly a saint. I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially after everything it took to get here.

But sweet tea, yeeeesssssssss. It's the nectar of the gods, no? Definitely a cure-all.

[Motel Manager]

I am so sorry to hear what you're going through (though your descriptions are so articulate that they should really help others to understand what HG is like). Himself is a gem!

[flygirl]

I am sooo glad you updated. I've been wondering about you. Your plight sounds absolutely horrendous. I am grateful for the food aversions I'm having for clearly it could be muchmuchmuch worse.

Thinking of you...

[fertilityfauxpas]

Okay, so maybe I suck at updating my own blog, but I've definitely been keeping an eye on yours. I'm sorry it's been so tough on you and I hope that things start to take a turn for the better soon. You are a trooper, Beth, and it sounds like your husband is too. Thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon...

[Mandy]

Ah, the weepukes. I found the best way to circumvent that was to sit on the toilet and puke into a bucket. That was if I could get my pants down before the puking started. Fortunately that horrible aspect of HG has passed. Now if only the puking part would...

HG sucks, plain and simple. It amazes me how many aspects of your life is destroys. There would be days I couldn't shower b/c the heat of the water would make me sick. But then my own smell would make me sick as well. Horrible, vicious cycle.

I'm glad that Himself is such a great support for you. And kudos to you for being brave enough to voice some of your thoughts. I've been berated numerous times for saying that I hate being pg and I don't know if I could handle this again. So I've just shut my mouth and an honest with very few people.

G/L tomorrow as well.

[kitkatxyz]

I've always believed I have one hell of a great hubby... but damn! yours sounds incredible!!! You're a lucky woman in that right. Just wish the HG would let you feel lucky in every other aspect...

[Manuela]

Your husband... is a SAINT! a SAINT!

And... um... I'm glad I'm not the only one who loses bladder control in the midst of the really violent puking.

[statia]

You know how to hit a weepy pregnant woman below the belt. My heart just aches for you because I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I know the bladder thing is common and I'm sorry that you're having to deal with that too. Himself is indeed a saint.

I hope the clouds part soon and you start to feel better.

Also, don't for one second feel guilty for not being happy about being pregnant. You're in the 9th circle of hell right now and if anyone has a beef about you feeling disconnected from all of this, I'll kick them in the vagina.

[My Reality]

I do hope that things settle down a bit for you soon. It won't go on forever and I hope you do get the opportunity to enjoy some of your pregnancy.

[Gabby]

Oh. My. God. I'm scared to write this b/c it might make you sick too. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope it all goes away really, really soon! Himself is a champ and I hope the u/s shows good things!

[Newbie]

you never cease to amaze me. sometimes i think i have a bit of strength, but nothing like what you've gotta have. steel magnolia, my ass. titanium? diamond? elizabeth!